Horton Hears a Who: Vlad Vladikoff makes COOKIES!
by Adrianne Hershae
Summary: This is a story that I originally made on the Suessville "Horton Hears a Who!" storymaker. Basically, Vlad Vladikoff decides to make a batch of cookies. Why? Read and you shall see.
1. The turning over of new leaf

**A/N:** This is a story that I originally made up on the Dr. Seuss website of Seussville. There's this "Horton Hears a Who!" storymaker - great fun! Albeit, a little childish. Ah schmek – you're never too old! The Doctor himself proved it! No, not Doctor Who LTS (Laughs To Self). Look up "David Tennent and Lauren Cooper" on YouTube. You'll understand...maybe...

**The turning over of new leaf**

"Vhat is with the constant smashing of the beak? Can't a sinister bird of prey get a break around here? Holy moly!"

For the millionth time, Vlad rubbed his beak

As he picked himself up, he heard a faint shriek

He looked to the purple leaved gongalong tree

Where a slug-like goop bug was trying to flee

Being the villain he was, he plucked it from its fat twig

And opened his mouth to swallow it in one – _glig_

Slowly opening an eye and pausing, he just knew it

He couldn't eat this goop bug! He just couldn't do it!

Today he just wasn't feeling villainous at all

He didn't feel like terrifying anyone – not big or small

Vlad Vladikoff just wasn't feeling himself today. He sighed as he pulled his feet up and began to fly. _EEEK! AGH!_ – was all he could hear as he flew over the creatures of the jungle. Usually this sound would have filled him with joy and pride, but today? Nope. Nothing. What was he to do with himself? "Maybe it is time to be turning over a new leaf," he said to himself, "But where to find these new leaves?"

"If I may interrupt," called a voice from the sky, "To "turn over a new leaf" does not mean to actually find new leaves and start turning them over. It means to start over or find something new to do with your life."

"Ah, I see," said Vlad.

Suddenly, he stopped mid-flight looking around. "Vait who is this?" he asked, before dropping to the ground with a – _PLONK!_

"The life of a villain," he murmured to himself in a raspy voice, "Is filled with so…much…pain!"

"Oh this is the Narrator," replied the voice, "And yeah, I totally agree! Turning over a new leaf may be a good idea!"

"Are you not supposed to be narrating the story with all your rhymey-rhyme words?" asked Vlad.

"I…I can talk to you if I want!" exclaimed the Narrator offended, "Or I can stop the story right where it is!"

"Alright! Alright! Enough already with the threatenings and the snivelling like baby!" Vlad called up to the skies, "Jeez Louise!"

"Alright!" exclaimed the Narrator, back to being cheerful, "I have an idea!"

"Yes and what is idea?" asked Vlad.

"I think that you should make some cookies, you know, like the bunny Vlad!"

"Vhat?!" exclaimed Vlad in horror, "Make cookies?! Cookies is not scary! Not even bad thing!"

"But I thought you said that you wanted to turn over a new leaf!"

"Alright! We will go with the making of the cookies!" Vlad told the Narrator exasperated, "Vhat is this? Narrator telling Vlad what to do in story? Is Vlad's story! If you get to tell Vlad what to do in story, Vlad is getting to make up chapter titles!"

"It's a pretty short story," mumbled the Narrator to himself.

He then shrugged up in the big somewhere that – wherever he was – and agreed, "Suuure!"

**A/N:** (sings) "Doan cheeya wish your boyfriend was FRESH like me? Doan cheeya wish your boyfriend was HOT like a TEA? Doan cheeya?"  
Oh right…hmmm…author's note…Just wondering how to get a bit of FOB going up in here! You know, as in "fresh off da blane"? Ha ha - well, just did, ae? Oh, and if you're wondering where that came from, google "Busikat Dolls – Doan Cheeya". Please reveiw!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Horton Hears a Who!" or any of it's characters. I've never read the actual book, so I'm not sure who exactly the bunny, Vlad belongs to. Can anyone tell me about that? It'll save any research I may do on the topic. I only know that the actual story and Vlad Vladikoff belong to Dr. Seuss. Hmmm…the Narrator…Don't know who he belongs to either.


	2. How to be baking cookies

**A/N:** "Making fiends! Making fiends! Vandetta's always making fiends! Making fiends, while Charlotte makes friends!"

Does anyone watch that? Man! I've seen all the episodes and it's funny as…erm…in a really weird way…(sweatdrop) Vlad reminds me of Vandetta LoL Don't know how, but yeah...

"Come to the dark side! We have cookies! Choc chip ones!" LoL

**Disclaimer:** I just wanted to state that what's mine is mine and what's not is not. This is the last one.

**How to be making cookies**

Flying back to his lair in the dark, dead-dry Grey Lands, Vlad realised something – "How are we to be making these cookies?"

"Oh that's easy!" replied the Narrator, "You just get a bowl and a spoon and mix all the ingredients together. Then you can put them onto a tray, put them into the oven and lick the bowl while you're waiting for them to cook."

Vlad did want to say something, but the idiot just wouldn't shut up. "All you need is flour, eggs – ."

Then suddenly - "Flowers?! We are to be mixing in flowers?! Flowers are not for the eating!"

A – _slap_ – could be heard as the Narrator hit his forehead. "No, it's flour!" he explained in exasperation, "F-L-O-U-R! Flour! It's wheat that's been ground up into white powder!"

Vlad still didn't really know what the guy was on about, but he really wanted him to shut up soon! "Oh, I is seeing," he lied.

Satisfied the Narrator continued on with his list, "Butter, sugar…Um, what sort of cookies do you want to make? You could do choc chip - ."

"And where are we to be getting these choc chips?" asked Vlad.

They were in the middle of a jungle on a human-less island for goodness sakes! He was answered by silence and then, "Uh…You could fly to America!" exclaimed the Narrator, "Yeah, fly to America!"

"And how is Vlad getting to this "America"? I am not knowing any "America"! Have spent whole life in Jungle of Nool."

"What?! You're a Dr. Seuss character for goodness sakes!" exclaimed the Narrator in frustration, "You - ! Grrr!"

"Also the mixing and the adding of the ingredients – Vlad's sharp, sinister talons were made for the clawing and the shredding!"

"The bunny, Vlad can make cookies!" exclaimed the Narrator, "And he only has paws!"

There was a light bulb – _ding – _and the Narrator suddenly exclaimed in excitement, "That's it!"

"Vhat is it? I am not understanding crazy Narrator's nonsense blabberings!"

"That's it! That's it!" the Narrator continued, "We could go to the bunny, Vlad and get _him_ to give you the ingredients! He could even help you with actually making the cookies!"

"Vlad is not seeing what is so very exciting," said Vlad, bored.

So Vlad Vladikoff changed his direction of flight

His spirits lifted and his heart feeling light

"Vlad is not experiencing such feelings!" exclaimed an annoyed Vlad as he flew to…wherever he was flying, "Crazy Narrator is always talking such silly, rhyming nonsense!"

"It's the only thing that rhymed!" the Narrator told Vlad, probably pouting wherever he was.

"Is not true!" disagreed Vlad, "With "flight" there is – fright, night and fight! Is good words to be using!"

"Are not!" replied the Narrator, "They're all meanie-mean bad words!"

"Jeez Louise! Again with the moaning and the groaning" exclaimed Vlad, covering his ears, "All Narrator is do is whine! Is hurting Vlad's ears!"

Then - _KER-PLONK_ – Vlad landed painfully on the ground once again. "This turning of a new leaf is not seeming to be helping!" Vlad yelled in pain as he rubbed his aching beak.

"Sure it is!" the Narrator flippantly, "See we're already here!"

Vlad looked around at the scenery before him – roll after roll of green, flower-speckled hills. "I is still not seeing where this bunny Vlad is living!" Vlad told the Narrator.

"Uh, look down," came the suggestion.

Very soon Vlad came face to face with a pair of big, baby-blue eyes and a plate, freshly-filled with choc chip cookies. "Ah ha!" cried Vlad triumphantly, snatching the plate of warm cookies from the bunny.

"Uh…Vlad?" came the Narrator's voice.

Vlad ignored it, too busy reeling in his success with cackling laughter. One could have sworn that he was actually dancing and prancing around joyfully, cookies clutched between the feathers of his two wings, but it was too awkward-looking to actually tell. Whatever he was doing he obviously hadn't had much practice at it. Then suddenly, he came face to face again with those big, baby-blue eyes which were now shining with tears. Vlad stopped right in his tracks. There was a long pause. Then suddenly, Vlad burst into tears. "Here! Take them!"

He shoved the cookies back toward the bunny - practically sobbing - who took them, gave one to Vlad and then bounced off in search of more takers. There was a long silence. The Narrator didn't know what to say and Vlad was just staring at the cookie in his hand and thinking in despair of how soft he'd become. "Uhmmm…" began the Narrator, seriously disturbed by the display he'd just seen, "Well at least you gave them back! See you really are turning over a new leaf!"

Vlad muttered a few curses under his breath and began to bite into his choc chip cookie. Then - _voom_ - a dreamy smile spread across his face, erasing the usually sour expression from his face. _"Lucy in the Sky with Daimonds" - The Beatles_ starts playing "Eeeerm," said the Narrator.

One bite from the choc chip cookie delight

And Vlad was off at the speed of light!

He flew across the mountains and over the sea

Until he came to the infamous Tennessee

He brought the ingredients from a local store

And was back in Nool by half past four

Where he mixed and baked until the deed was done

Holding the batch of cookies he cried, "Oh what fun!"

"Vait one minute!"

A confused Vlad stared down at the plate of double choc chip cookies now held in his fine, feathered wings. "And my vings!" exclaimed Vlad in horror, "Vhat happened to my vings?!"

"Did I mention that you also took a trip to one of the local beauty shops?" asked the Narrator.

"Vhat stuuupid nonsense is this?" exclaimed Vlad indignantly as he examined his now, neat, clean-cut appearance.

"Oh just eat one of them cookies and we'll get on with the story!" replied the Narrator.

Vlad shrugged, took one of the cookies and ate it.

**A/N:** LoL Ah, food…it can be just so inspiring! Oh, and the "infamous Tennessee" part came from "Extravaganza feat. Kanye West" - Jamie Foxx. And no, I shouldn't have listened to that song. Why do his songs have to be so catchy? And he has a nice voice too…

PLEASE REVIEW!!


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